Somatic Self-Touch for Black Women: Making Friends With Your Body—Your Nearest Home
Why Distance From the Body Makes Sense
As a Black woman, you may have had very real and valid reasons to create space between yourself and your closest home—your body. I’m Dr. Ly Franshaua Pipkins, a licensed clinical psychologist in California. Even if you’ve cultivated a deep love and respect for your brown skin, you still move through a world that requires you to work for that connection constantly. In many professional, academic, or medical environments, you may be the only—or one of very few—Black or brown bodies in the room. Over time, a quiet distance can form, sometimes so subtly it exists just beneath awareness. This isn’t a personal failure or a lack of self-love. It’s a nervous-system adaptation. In many contexts, it has been safer to disconnect.
If you’re a Black woman navigating anxiety, stress, or overwhelm, your nervous system has likely learned to stay alert in environments that ask a lot of you. Many of us were taught—explicitly or implicitly—to push through discomfort, to be strong, to stay composed. That strength is real. It is also tiring. Over time, living in a state of constant composure can pull attention away from the body and toward performance, productivity, or vigilance.
When distance from the body has been protective, returning to it needs to be approached with care. Somatic work isn’t about forcing presence or “dropping in” no matter what. It’s about rebuilding trust slowly, with choice and agency. Somatic self-touch offers a way to begin that process gently—without requiring explanation, analysis, or emotional exposure.
Why Reconnecting With the Body Matters—Even If Disconnection Helped You Succeed
For many high-performing Black women, disconnecting from the body wasn’t a mistake—it was a skill. Ignoring fatigue, tension, or emotional cues may have allowed you to focus, perform, and move through demanding environments without slowing down. That capacity deserves respect.
The challenge is that the nervous system doesn’t automatically switch strategies when circumstances change. What once supported achievement can, over time, lead to chronic stress, anxiety, burnout, or a sense of living slightly outside yourself. The body continues to send signals—but when they’re consistently ignored, those signals often grow louder or more urgent.
Making friends with your body doesn’t mean giving up ambition, discipline, or excellence. It means learning to listen earlier, so your system doesn’t have to escalate in order to be heard. Somatic practices offer a way to stay high-functioning and better regulated—rather than having to choose between success and well-being.
A Trauma-Informed Note (Please Read)
Many techniques used in trauma therapy are also effective for anxiety because anxiety and trauma often operate in the same nervous-system register. Both involve heightened alertness, threat detection, and protective responses.
That said:
Do not practice deeply unsettling anxiety states alone.
These practices are for regulation, not for pushing yourself into intense sensations.
If a practice increases distress, stop and choose something more grounding—or reach out for support.
Neutral is enough. Safety comes first.
Why Somatic Self-Touch Helps—Especially for Black Women
Touch communicates directly with the nervous system through the skin, muscles, and connective tissue. Gentle pressure and contact can:
Reduce fight-or-flight activation
Support parasympathetic (calming) responses
Increase interoceptive awareness (feeling yourself from the inside)
Offer a felt sense of containment and support
For Black women, whose bodies have often been scrutinized, disciplined, or ignored, self-directed touch can be quietly reparative. It restores agency. You decide what feels okay. You decide when to begin and end.
Start Here: Somatic Self-Touch You Can Use Now
1. The Armpit Self-Hug
Best for: overwhelm, emotional flooding, anxiety spikes
How
Tuck one hand into the opposite armpit
Wrap the other arm across your chest, resting your hand on the upper arm
Let your shoulders soften
Hold for 30–90 seconds
Why this helps
This creates deep pressure and containment while offering bilateral sensory input. Many people feel a spontaneous sigh, yawn, or softening—signs the nervous system is settling.
2. Hand on Chest, Hand on Belly
Best for: racing thoughts, shallow breathing, nervous anticipation
How
Place one hand over your heart
Place the other on your lower belly
Breathe naturally and feel the movement beneath your hands
Why this helps
This anchors you to internal rhythms—breath and heartbeat—supporting grounding without forcing relaxation.
3. Butterfly Hug (Optional Movement)
Best for: stress, trauma activation, difficulty settling
How
Cross your arms over your chest
Rest hands on opposite shoulders
Gently alternate tapping left and right
Or simply hold still
Why this helps
Bilateral input can help stabilize the nervous system without requiring you to talk or analyze what you’re feeling.
4. Neck or Jaw Hold
Best for: tension, irritability, bracing
How
Place one hand along the side of your neck
Let your thumb rest near the jaw or behind the ear
Apply gentle, steady pressure
Why this helps
The neck and jaw often hold protective tension. Gentle contact here can signal safety and allow the body to downshift.
5. Thigh or Upper-Arm Pressure
Best for: dissociation, feeling scattered or unanchored
How
Place one or both hands firmly on your thighs or upper arms
Press enough to feel your body’s outline
Hold for several breaths
Why this helps
This provides grounding and a sense of boundary—helpful when you feel untethered or “not fully here.”
How to Practice Safely
Less is more. 20–60 seconds is often enough.
Follow comfort. Choose what feels neutral-to-pleasant.
Stop if distress rises. Switch to something more grounding or reach out for support.
Use preventatively. These work best before overwhelm peaks.
You’re not training your body to tolerate distress—you’re teaching it that support is available.
Making Friends With Your Body
Your body has carried you through a lot. It learned patterns of protection that made sense at the time. Somatic self-touch isn’t about undoing that—it’s about building a new relationship.
One rooted in listening.
One rooted in choice.
One rooted in the understanding that your body is not the problem—it’s the place you return to.
If you’re interested in learning how to work with anxiety and trauma in a way that honors your nervous system, your history, and your lived experience as a Black woman, you’re welcome to request a free consultation.
You don’t have to do this alone—and you don’t have to be at war with your body to heal.